


Slow Burn

by solveariddle



Category: Bates Motel (2013)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-09-15 18:22:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9250025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solveariddle/pseuds/solveariddle
Summary: When Alex refuses Norma's proposal, she marries someone else to get insurance for Norman, but he can't let her go. Ever. "Norma must be aware that the idea of her being with someone else drives him crazy and keeps him up at night. She can't be so blind or can she?" // Normero all the way.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is a continuation of Norma's proposal in 4x01. Everything afterwards didn't happen.
> 
> There is not much of a plot here aside from an alternate scenario how Norma and Alex could have gotten together. I love to let these two broken characters find happiness. Will be a two- or three-shot probably.
> 
> Disclaimer: Not mine. Bates Motel and its characters belong to A&E and I CAN'T WAIT for the final season.

Five days.

Five fucking days.

That's how long it took Norma Bates to find a new husband.

Yes, he had refused her proposal, had told her to look for someone else, but he hadn't meant it.  _You're an attractive woman. I'm sure you'll find someone else pretty quickly. - Okay, I will. Fine._ And then she had gone off to do exactly that.

Damn his stupid words. Damn her.

He didn't believe it when he heard the rumor for the first time two days ago what must have been the day of her marriage. There are so many rumors about Norma Bates, one more didn't seem to matter, regardless of how far-fetched it sounded. He should have known. When it comes to Norma, nothing is too far-fetched. Ever. Only when people started giving him sympathetic looks yesterday because everyone seems to believe they were sleeping together, it began to dawn on him that it could be true. He didn't get a wink of sleep last night.

And now proof that it wasn't just a rumor is staring Alex right in the face, so to speak. A ring on her finger. A nice one no less. Understated elegance topped off with a brilliant that says money. Well, she would have chosen someone with money or at least insurance. The marriage was about getting Norman into Pineview after all.

They are standing in the entrance of the stationary shop. Norma was on her way out, he on his way in. The situation feels awkward to say the least.

"Hi, Norma."

No use to prolong the uncomfortable silence and make this even more awkward than absolutely necessary.

"Hi… Alex."

His name like an afterthought, almost as if she has already forgotten it. He clenches his fist, the intensity of his anger as sudden as expected. When he is around her, everything is intense and what else than anger is he supposed to feel?

Alex has stalled checking on Norma after his refusal to marry her. It has been their weirdest encounter so far, although this moment might come close. He was hurt, had just killed Bob Paris for her and even though it is unfair to hold it against her because she doesn't know it, didn't tell him to do it in the first place, it felt as if it never would be enough. Whatever he did for her, she always wanted more. He needed time. But she needed insurance. And hasn't that worked out nicely?

When he becomes aware people have to squeeze past them because they are blocking the entrance, Alex grabs Norma's arm to pull her outside. They are attracting attention already – people know them; it's a small town. No need to reinforce that.

"So… congratulations, I guess." It sounds fake even to his ears.

"Yes. I mean thank you," she stutters, swallowing nervously.

It's oddly satisfying that her behavior is miles away from that of a happy newlywed.

Alex doesn't want to ask, but he has to know. "Who's the lucky guy?" He didn't mean to say  _lucky_ ; the word slipped out of its own accord.

Norma studies him for a moment as if pondering on whether this could be a threat. Maybe it is.

"A guest. A motel guest. I mean… before. Now he's… we're..."

She can't bring herself to say  _husband_  or  _married_ , and for the first time since he saw her, Alex feels like this might not be the end of whatever hasn't even begun between them.

"What?" Norma asks defiantly, and only now, he realizes he is smiling.

"Nothing."

" _What_?"

"So you're not Norma Bates anymore?" It's a distraction, but also an attempt to find out more.

Alex needs a name so that he can check the databases and hopefully find something, a previous conviction or an arrest warrant, lock this guy up forever and throw the key away, but either she sees through his intentions or she is just Norma, saying the first thing that comes to her mind.

"Of course, I am. I'm keeping my name. Why wouldn't I?"

She is right. Even if he was… if they were… She will always be Norma Bates although there is this nagging voice in his mind that keeps telling him that  _Norma Romero_  has a nice ring to it.

So no name. He will find out, anyway.

"How's Norman?"

Alex would be lying if he said he likes Norman. However he is her son and she loves him. Deeply. Norma cares about Norman and he cares about her. Simple as that.

Her face darkens, sadness drawing a veil over her. "At Pineview. Getting better, I hope. It was difficult to convince him that it's the right thing to do, but it was long overdue. My fault." She obviously misses Norman and feels guilty in equal measures.

"I hope so, too, and he will. You did the right thing."

"Thank you." The smile Norma gives him is grateful. And there is something else in her eyes. Wistfulness?

For a brief moment Alex allows himself to indulge in the fantasy that she regrets marrying that guy whoever he is, that she imagines how it would be to be married to him. After all she proposed to him before he sent her away.  _This was your chance_ , Alex thinks.  _And you missed it._

"I, um, have to go," Norma says, her voice much gentler now, almost as if she doesn't want to leave. "I need to run some errands and then go home to make dinner. He… um… I need to go."

"Yes, sure." What else is there left to say?  _Leave him. Get a divorce. I made a mistake._

"Goodbye, Alex." Norma turns around, seems to have forgotten what she was about to do when they ran into each other and then remembers, heading into the stationary shop.

Her words reverberate though.  _He_  as in  _her husband_. That's what she meant. But what is it about him? Is he one of those guys who need to have dinner at exactly the same time every day, holding their wife responsible for making sure of that? Maybe he is violent. Maybe she is in danger. Alex takes a deep breath. He needs to calm down first, but then he needs to find out who the hell that guy is.

One more thing Norma didn't ask him to do. And one more thing he will do, anyway, to protect her. Or at least that's what Alex tells himself.

* * *

Why does he always knock even though there is a bell? The thought has never occurred to him before but now that Alex is standing on the porch of Norma's house, the strangest things seem to be important all of a sudden.

Heavy footsteps approach the door. The man is about his age, in his mid forties, approximately his height but with thinning hair and beginnings of a paunch. The kind of man who was good looking in high school but didn't manage to stay in shape as the years passed by. He seems to be wary when he finds a stranger in front of his door but relaxes as soon as he notices Alex's uniform. People who have something to hide react in a different way. Alex is certain the man has no criminal record or any criminal history whatsoever. He should be happy for Norma but feels a sting of disappointment instead. So much for hoping he could haul him out of her house and lock him up. But there is a fallback option.

"I'm Sheriff Romero. I need to talk to you and your wife about something that happened in town."

"Of course. Come in. It's cold outside. I'm Richard Newton. I moved in here only recently, but you probably know that already, being the sheriff and all that." Chatty and friendly.

They shake hands amicably.

"So what's your profession, Mr. Newton?"

"I'm a salesman, travel a lot. And then I met this gorgeous woman and... here we are." Richard sounds happy, grateful even, as if he still can't believe fate has meant so well for him. "Norma...," he calls for her. Nothing about the way he talks or behaves giving away that he has been living here for less than two weeks.

Norma comes down the stairs, briefly startled when she sees Alex and her husband together in the hallway but immediately covering it with a fake smile.

"Hi Alex."

If this was a game, he would have just won the first set. Her husband frowns when he realizes his wife and the sheriff know each other well enough to be on first name basis.

"Let's go into the living room," Richard tries to win the upper hand again.

Norma goes ahead, followed by Alex who puts his hand on the small of her back as he always does. Marking a territory that is not his.

After they have sat down, Alex introduces a story about recurring thefts and vandalism in town, presumably committed by some adolescents. It's completely made up and Norma knows it the moment he begins to speak. However she just raises an eyebrow and keeps looking at him unwaveringly. Did they see or hear anything hinting at who could be the juvenile delinquents? Richard obviously wants to help, thinks about it before he responds with regret that he didn't whereas Norma just shrugs and fobs him off with a curt no.

Richard is sitting close to Norma on the couch, touching her casually now and then, brushing her fingers or her thigh. It's what married people do and it's not inappropriate or intrusive in the least save that Alex can tell Norma doesn't like it. As nice as that man is, she doesn't want to be touched by him. His stomach convulses. There is nothing he can do. The man appears to be harmless, likable even. He will screen him later, nevertheless, but Norma married him. On the surface no one forced her to do anything, let alone is forcing her to stay with him. Except that Alex knows she feels as if she has no other choice if she wants to guarantee her son the best treatment possible. The idea sickens him. He hates himself for sending her away that day, underestimating her ability to make the sheer impossible happen just like that.

_I know you're attracted to me. I'll sleep with you. I don't care. I really don't._ Did she say the same things to that man? Probably not, however she made him marry her so quickly. But the arrangement is implied and she is for sure keeping her end up. Suddenly Alex can't stand to sit here with them anymore, the awareness that there is nothing he can do to change the situation taunting him. His muscles tense up; he has to leave, jumping to his feet.

Richard looks at him mildly surprised but otherwise unfazed while Norma seems to be alarmed. She flinched when he jumped up, obviously being as tense as he is.

"I have to go. There are some urgent matters waiting for me," Alex excuses himself.

Another pretext. His work is done for today. There is nothing left for him to do than go home and bang his head against the wall or better even go to the next bar and drink himself into a stupor.

"Of course," Richard agrees, oblivious of what is going on.

They stand up and Richard accompanies him to the door. As soon as the door closes behind him, though, he hears Norma say something unintelligible inside before it opens again.

"Sheriff Romero, wait!"

She steps out, closing the door behind her again albeit her husband seems to have gone back into the living room. At least Alex can't spot his shadow lurking in the vestibule, trying to overhear what they say. In a way he almost feels sorry for him. That man has no idea who he married. Then he remembers Norma's expression when her husband touched her, bordering on disgust, and pity is the last thing he feels. He doesn't want that man to be even remotely close to Norma, wants to get him out of the way.

"Sheriff Romero? Really?"

He is angry, needs an outlet for the complete disaster this is although none of this is her fault. Well, some is. She is the one with the ring on her finger. Norma takes a step back, looking at him as if he was a wounded animal about to attack. "Your husband already heard that you called me Alex, Norma. He knows we know each other, but don't worry, I won't tell him that you can get pretty aggressive when you don't get your way or how we almost kissed."

His anger catches her off-guard. Norma doesn't understand why Alex is so angry, but she knows exactly what he is talking about. That day at his apartment not long ago when she hit him and they ended up pressed against each other, their breath mingling, their lips almost touching before she simply left. There is not one day he doesn't think about what happened and what didn't.

"We didn't..." Norma looks at the door, lowering her voice, then back at him. "We didn't almost kiss. And keep your voice down."

"No? Then what didn't we almost do?"

Alex can't stand to not touch her, reaching out and taking her hand. Her reaction is so different from the way she behaved just moments ago when her husband touched her. Norma intertwines their fingers and for a moment he thinks she will pull him towards her, but she doesn't, just keeps caressing his palm. It's highly sensual, his perception overly sensitive.

"Why did you come here and tell us this story?" she changes the subject. "There are no juvenile delinquents, not since you eradicated drug business." Despite her blunt words, Norma's voice is quiet, soothing.

She has to know he came here to find out more about her husband since Richard never seems to come to town and he didn't want to ask the staff of the registry office for his name. On some level Norma must be aware that the idea of her being with someone else drives him crazy and keeps him up at night. She can't be so blind or can she?

"Are you sleeping with him?"

"Alex..."

The gentle caress of his hand stops. Of course she is. Why does he have to torture himself?

"Why did you marry him?"

She rolls her eyes and shrugs. "You know why! Norman needs insurance for his stay at Pineview. What was I supposed to do? You made it pretty clear that you wouldn't marry me, not even if it's part of a bargain." She cuts him a look and Alex flinches the way he did when she offered herself to him on his threshold. How is it that she is able to offer herself, her body as part of a deal like it was nothing?

"Yes, I know that. But why didn't you wait? Just a couple of days."

"For what?"

For him to get a grip on his conflicting feelings when it comes to her. All he needed were some days or a heads-up that she was about to marry someone else. He would have never let that happen.

Alex only realizes he has grabbed Norma's upper arms and pulled her towards him when she puts her hands against his chest. She doesn't push him back, though, just lets him hold her. If he pulled her any closer, the situation would be similar to the one in his apartment. He feels her irregular breath on his neck and face, the tension in both of their bodies rising. Whatever it is between them, it's eclectic and addictive.

He waits for her to see it in his face, to realize what she means to him, but she doesn't. Norma's glance drops to his lips like it always does. She pointed out his attraction towards her during the proposal as if it was one-sided when she is just as attracted to him. Maybe she doesn't know what love looks like or feels because she has never experienced it before.

"What are you afraid of?" Alex whispers.

It's as if he flipped the wrong switch. He shouldn't have used the word  _afraid_. Norma Bates insists on the idea that there is nothing and no one she is afraid of. She steps away from him.

"Perhaps that my husband catches me making out with another man on my front porch. You are really something, Alex. Hitting on me after I got married. You could have had me, but you missed your chance."

Offense is the best defense. Norma knows that, every word stinging him.

"I'm not giving you up."

"I didn't know you had me."

Alex wishes she would stop acting so indifferently, wishes he could walk away and never come back, but by now he has relinquished that hope. Something about Norma will always bring him back to her doorstep, no matter whether she is widowed or married. And he wishes she would stop raising her eyebrow. She looks so damn sexy that reasonable thinking around her is very difficult. He has to be. Reasonable, that is, since she has somehow accepted her situation and seems to believe this is only a testosterone game for him, daring him with her words and countenance because that's the way she handles men who pine for her.

The idea to meet her husband and figure out a quick fix to get rid of him based on potential criminal records or his assumed repulsive personality was a dismal failure. Norma Bates married a nice guy who is probably head over heels in love with her. He needs another plan.

"I'm not giving you up," Alex repeats.

"Then don't, but I have to go."

Perhaps there is something close to longing in her eyes before she turns around and goes back inside. Or perhaps it's just wishful thinking. Either way Alex knows insomnia and a bottle of Scotch will be his companions tonight. Again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are heating up in this chapter, but it probably won't be what you expect or maybe partly – I'm being deliberately vague here because… well, read for yourself.

_I'm not giving you up._

Easier said than done. Literally. Their parameters challenging to say the least.

He can't ask a married woman out on a date and they never really socialized with each other, never made  _How are you?_ calls or sent  _How was your day?_ texts. That's who they are. Norma did his laundry, treated his wound, screamed at him, even hit him, and he killed for her, but so far there has been no room for ordinary interaction. And her husband seems to be around all the time. Whenever Alex checks, Richard's car is parked at the motel; however he reconciles it with his job.

Therefore he considers trying to forget her. As much as it hurts, maybe he should stop holding on to something that was never meant to be. But then he sees her in town somewhere from a distance and merely the way she walks across the street triggers a yearning, a longing so deep that he knows he will never get over her.

During his darkest moments, Alex imagines to get rid of Richard. He could make it look like an accident or let him disappear for good. No one has found Bob Paris either. Or he could threaten him, make him leave. It would probably be a piece of cake considering what a nice guy Richard is. That's not how it is supposed to be though. He needs it to be Norma's choice.

Alex doesn't know what to do, the situation deadlocked.

* * *

So it might be fate showing him the way when he is driving home after an exhausting day at work and detects a familiar, greenish Mercedes by the roadside. It's after dark and for once all he wants is quiet, to close the door behind him and shut out the world, for a change with no halt at the bar to get his usual fair share of liquor. But there is only one car like that in town. And there is no way he will simply drive by. Alex pulls over.

Norma is standing next to her car, kicking at a flat tire and swearing loudly.

"I don't think this is how you change a wheel," Alex comments. Norma on edge is always an irresistible mix of dangerous and hilarious.

She startles, only now noticing his presence, "Don't sneak up on me like that!"

Alex turns around, ostentatiously pointing at his car that can hardly be overlooked, but Norma has already forgotten about the subject, her mood extremely volatile as always.

"It's broken," she complains about the flat tire. "And there is no reception here. I couldn't call anyone." Norma waves her cell around. It is, indeed, the worst place to have a flat tire or accident because it's a dead zone. Then she smiles at him almost seductively and tilts her head back. "But now you're here. Can you fix it?" It's her I'm-Norma-Bates-and-I-can-twist-every-man-around-my-little-finger-if-I-want-to voice.

Alex sighs. She can definitely twist him around her little finger and she knows it.

"Do you have a spare wheel? Then yes."

Something tells him she doesn't have one and her pout confirms it. She looks kind of cute when she pouts, especially when she is dressed up like tonight. Norma is wearing a dress he has never seen before. Its light blue matches the color of her eyes perfectly, a white, floral pattern giving it an elegant touch. Her usual vintage style, only a bit tighter, shorter, more cleavage. She positively looks as if she is on her way to a date.

"Where were you going?"

A hint of embarrassment flickers across her face. "I was on my way to meet Richard. He attends this congress not far from here and they pay for his hotel room; so he asked me whether I wanted to join him." Norma shrugs as if it was no big deal, but Alex can tell she is excited. Her husband is providing amusement, something he imagines her former husbands didn't care about. He is making an effort so that their whirlwind marriage will work. Visions of Norma and Richard having dinner together and flirting invade Alex's mind. An uncomfortable tingling sets in as he realizes that this friendly, harmless guy Norma met only weeks ago is about to make her fall for him. And yet…

"I will drive you."

Why did he say that? Why did he offer her his help? Because it's late and dark and cold and she is standing there, right in front of him in her flimsy dress, looking at him with these sad, blue eyes and all he wants is to make her happy. That's why.

"Really?" she sounds as if she can't believe it.

_Draw a number_ , Alex thinks grimly.  _I can't believe what I'm doing either._ And yet again...

"Really. Get your coat. It's freezing out here," he barks at her, covering up his emotions.

Alex walks over to his car as Norma gets her purse and puts her coat on. He watches her in the rearview mirror. Like the dress, he has never seen the coat before. It is gray with artificial fur, modern but still unusual enough to match her unique style. She looks breathtakingly beautiful in it, ethereal. Alex clears his throat when she gets in, hopping on the passenger seat as if she was a little girl.

He is highly aware that this is his chance to make another try, but Norma seems to be so happy to go on a date with her husband and is so obviously and deliberately ignoring what happened on her porch between them that he can't think of anything to say. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe the attraction is one-sided and he never was more to her than a flirt, a useful ally in times of need like now. Let alone that her physical closeness throws him off balance. They have never been alone in a car together before, never been in such a confined space. Every time he breathes in, he can smell her perfume or her shampoo or maybe just her. Either way it's intoxicating. Alex turns on the radio. He expects Norma to chatter away, but she remains silent too, and after a while, the silence begins to feel comfortable. Or comfortable enough for her to break it.

"Why are you doing this?" Norma asks in a low voice, shooting a glance at him.

"Because you have a flat tire."

"I thought you didn't like Richard."

"Who says I like him?"

"I'm just confused. You said you wouldn't give me up and now you're helping me to go on a date with my husband."

So what happened between them still is on her mind.

"You said I didn't have you." Alex curses himself the moment the words are out. Of all the things he could have said, this was the worst choice by far.

"Right." Norma's reaction comes quick and snippy and he can't tell for the world whether she is disappointed or annoyed.

This is wrong. Everything about this. That he is driving her to another man, may it be her husband or not. That he is unable to say something that will make her realize what he feels for her. Alex is no man of spirited words. His hands grip the wheel hard; he wishes he could make her understand.

"It's just that I thought…," Norma starts again when he can't stand it any longer and pulls over.

They are still on the road, nothing but trees and darkness around. Norma stares at him, aware that something is going on. She better should be since she kind of provoked it. Knowing her, she tried to break through his reserve on purpose.

Alex holds her gaze, seeing her chest rise and fall from the corner of his eye. He may not have the right words, but whatever this is between them, it exists and it's not one-sided.

In one smooth move Alex unfastens his seat belt, grabs the back of Norma's neck and kisses her. Hard. Then again he wasn't aiming for gentle, anyway. She is completely still for a moment before she opens her lips, softly moaning when their tongues meet. Alex didn't plan ahead; he didn't even plan the kiss. But it ignites something that assumes control on its own. He didn't notice Norma unfastening her seat belt, but she must have because the barrier between them is gone suddenly, and he can't remember undoing her coat either, but somehow his hands have found their way underneath. Either he is pushing her down or she is pulling him on top of her. Whatever the case may be, things are spiraling out of control fast. He should have known it would be like that with her.

He has wrapped one arm around her, holding her close as though she wasn't close enough already, as though it wasn't his leg subtly spreading hers. And she alternates between touching his neck and holding his face with both of her hands, her thumb brushing his lips. It sends shivers of arousal through his body every time she does it.

"Stop." A breath against his skin, so quiet that Alex first thinks he imagined it, but then he leans back to look at her face, seeing her pained expression. "Please stop."

"Did I hurt you?" He pushes himself up, away from her, untangling their limbs.

"No, no." Norma shakes her head, tearing up. "But I… I'm married. And I don't cheat. I can't do that."

Somehow moral concerns never played a role in Alex's considerations and for sure he didn't have them here and now. He sits back in the driver's seat as Norma straightens herself, smoothing down her rumpled dress.

"I'm sorry," she whispers.

"It's not your fault."

"Feels like it," Norma breathes, uttering a bitter laugh.

For a moment, there is no sound other than their heavy breathing and some inappropriately romantic song playing on the radio. Alex turns it off.

"Leave him," he says. "Get a divorce. Be with me."

Under different circumstances he would have laughed about her expression. Eyes wide open, mouth half agape. He has managed to render Norma Bates speechless. There is nothing funny about the situation though. It feels like the point of no return. He can't go back to who they were from this.

"Alex..." Norma looks ghostly pale, shaking her head. "Richard is… He's a good man. He has taken care of everything Norman needs, way beyond what insurance covers."

"I can do that, too. I have insurance. I have money." Alex cringes at his words. As if this was a contest. Whoever provides the best treatment for Norman Bates gets his mother.

Norma clasps her hands, avoiding eye contact, her voice timid, "It's not that easy. I have made so many mistakes in my life. And then this good thing happened when I had almost given up hope. I want to do right by him."

It pains Alex and fuels his anger with himself at the same time to hear how desperate she must have been after he had refused to marry her and thereby basically had refused to help her, how alone she must have felt. He needs to correct that mistake. She needs to let him.

"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have let you down."

Norma just shrugs as if she didn't expect anything else, neither from life nor from him.

"But that doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your life for that man."

She frowns. "It's not forever. No marriage is. Just for a while."

Alex hates how resigned to her fate she sounds. His anger that has been boiling under the surface until now is looking for a way out.

"You can't be serious. If this was a long-lasting, real marriage, if you hadn't married that guy for his insurance, I wouldn't have done… this. But you can't deny what just happened. You kissed me back. You want this as much as I do."

Norma holds his gaze and he can see her conflicting emotions – pain, regret, determination – until her eyes darken and he knows she has decided to push him away.

"I wanted to marry  _you_  for your insurance."

The _only for your insurance_ is implied and even if Alex knows by now it's a lie, that he was her first and only choice and that other guy only an expedient born out of utter desperation, her deliberate attempt to drive a wedge between them hurts like hell.

"Fine." It's not fine, but Norma is stubborn and has a temper. Arguing with her will get him nowhere. There's one more thing, however, he needs to get out. "But don't expect me to be your errand boy anymore. Next time you have a flat tire, call a cab or your husband." It's a futile argument because she for sure would have done that if her cell had worked. This is not about being rational though. This is about letting her feel at least a minimum of the pain he is feeling right now.

"I don't like being pushed into a decision by anyone." To his surprise she doesn't respond to his anger with her own. It's rather a statement that this is the end of the discussion.

They stare at each other for a moment until Alex starts the engine and steers the car back on the road. He doesn't turn on the radio again. The silence is supposed to feel uncomfortable.

When they arrive, Alex expects Norma to get out of the car without another word. She has leant away from him, looking out of the window for the rest of the drive. But she hesitates briefly and then reaches out to take his hand, pressing his palm against her face.

"You're a good man, too," she mumbles before she brushes his hand with her lips and is gone.

Alex is stunned. It happened so fast and she didn't even look at him. How the hell is he supposed to know if this was goodbye or if all bets are off again?

* * *

The hotel is beautiful as is its restaurant. Norma had been looking forward to a nice evening, but then this  _thing_  between Alex and her happened and now she can't stop thinking about him, about the way his lips, his body felt, about his words.  _Be with me._  Over the years she has learned to pretend. And Richard doesn't actually know her, not like Alex does. Therefore he doesn't notice that her smile is artificial, her laughter fake, and that she has to force herself to eat the delicious five-course menu that probably costs Richard a fortune. He is such a nice guy. She has never had nice and she appreciates it. This could have ended so much worse considering what her former marriages were like. Save that she obviously doesn't want nice. What she wants is… Alex.

The images keep coming back. The way he kissed her. The way that made her feel. She had known he was attracted to her and she also had known that she was attracted to him – at least to a certain extent. But she hadn't expected that. His kiss unleashed something she hadn't known existed. Norma gave up on the idea of men being worth loving long ago. What happened between them today was more than passion though. Alex cares about her. Deeply. And maybe more. Maybe he actually lo…

"Did you like the dessert? I told the waiter to have it made extra chocolatey for you because I know you like that."

Count on Richard to be that attentive.

"I loved it."

Her words make his eyes light up.

"You look especially beautiful tonight, almost radiant. We should go on dates out of town more often."

If he knew why she looked so radiant, he would stop paying her compliments.

"To a wonderful evening with my beautiful wife."

They clink glasses and the effort it takes Norma to keep smiling makes her facial muscles ache.

Later they go to Richard's hotel room. Their date includes an overnight stay, of course. They are newlyweds. Anything else would be odd. It's not even that their sex is bad. Richard is a nice person and a gentle lover. Tonight, though, it feels plain wrong, Richard's physical closeness an intrusion into a world in which Norma is not able to shake off Alex's shadow. But just when she considers telling him she has a headache, something happens. She hasn't realized her body has been on fire ever since Alex kissed her. The moment Richard touches her, these are not his hands touching her but Alex's. Norma shivers with desire. This is wrong, unfair with respect to both men, and yet, she kisses her husband with a passion that is meant for another man, pushing his hands that rest on her back downwards on her butt because for some reason she believes that's what Alex would do.

Richard is pleasantly surprised by her passion that is clearly different but that he attributes to their evening and the location. The way he looks at Norma lovingly almost makes her stop. Spurred by her different behavior, Richard is bolder than usual though, one hand still kneading her backside, the other touching her breasts through her dress while he softly bites her neck. When he pulls down the zipper of her dress, Norma knows she won't stop him. She just has to keep her eyes closed so that the illusion will work.

The rest is a blur. Norma pulls Richard on top of her and imagines the scent of Alex's leather jacket instead of Richard's aftershave.

"You are so beautiful."

The right words but the wrong man saying them.

"Don't talk," she hisses, knowing he will mistake it for passion and obey. She can't have his voice destroy the fantasy.

They barely manage to undress before she signals him that foreplay will be skipped tonight. Her body is aching for release. Excited by her wild side, Richard is a bit rougher than usual, but it's not enough.

"Harder," she urges him.

Again, he obeys gladly and Norma rushes towards the sweetest oblivion as fast as never before.

"Oh my God..." She has to say something since she can't say Alex's name and this is the only thing on her mind right now.

When she comes undone, she has to bite her lip so that it doesn't slip out inadvertently.

Afterwards all Norma wants is to leave, Richard's tenderness and obvious delight about their passionate encounter making things worse.

"This was wonderful."

He kisses her shoulder and spoons her, his arm around her waist suffocating her.

Norma wants to fall asleep to escape the world, but every time she closes her eyes, the image of her car appears – standing in front of the motel with a brand new wheel because, of course, Alex would have taken care of it. Like he always takes care of everything. He is not only the man who wants her, he is also the one who protects her, is there for her at whatever unearthly hour she needs him. What has she done? What is she going to do?

She keeps her eyes open, staring into nowhere, as tear after tear trickles on the pillow. Only when Norma convinces herself that it is Alex lying behind her, that it is his hand resting on her hip, she drops off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me for the last part, please. I know it was wrong somehow, but it felt right because it reflects Norma's struggle (being the complicated, broken character she is) to do the right thing while she is not able to suppress her feelings for Alex. Does that make sense? However I can assure you good things come to those who wait. ;)


	3. Chapter 3

When things change suddenly and threaten to come apart, you usually have a short time span to prevent the downfall. Norma has never been good at that though. Not with her brother, not with her former husbands, and as painful as it is, not even with her sons. And now the relationship between her and Richard is shifting and she doesn't know what to do about it. She wants to do the right thing, but how can it be right if it hurts so much?

Ever since their night at the hotel Norma has been trying to avoid physical closeness that goes beyond the occasional hug and fleeting kisses. It can't be avoided entirely, however, her pleaded excuses something she can use only every so often if she doesn't want to get busted. So they do have sex, anything else would require an explanation that would imply everything going up in smoke. The problem being that Norma has gone from moderately enjoying to sleep with Richard at the beginning of their marriage over tolerating it as part of the bargain to finding it plain disgusting. Fantasizing about Alex instead was a one-time occurrence and doesn't help anymore. If anything, it makes things worse because Norma is highly aware it's not Alex touching her. So she finds herself silently crying in the bathroom on a regular basis until she scolds herself for being so weak and pulls herself together. Then she would apply make-up, do her hair, dress nicely and go on. After all, it's just another day. Like today.

Norma is in the kitchen, making breakfast when Richard comes downstairs. She expects him to sit down and startles when she realizes he has approached her from behind and is wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Hmmm, smells good," he says, kissing her neck and it's unclear whether he means the breakfast or her. Probably both.

"Sit down, honey. It's going to get cold otherwise."

She tries to squirm herself out of his tight embrace, but Richard gently grabs her shoulders and turns her around so that they face each other.

"What is going on Norma?" he asks.

His question catches her off guard; she doesn't know what to say. And his next words completely throw her off balance.

"Isn't Alex the first name of the sheriff?"

"What?" Norma is aware she gets defensive, but she can't help it.  _What is going on?_  Right now it feels as if she should ask him that question.

Richard seems to be unfazed though. "The sheriff. I thought I heard you call him Alex when he was here."

"Yes," she confirms warily. "That's his first name. Why?"

He looks at her with an expression in his eyes she can't interpret. "Because you mumble his name in your sleep."

Norma is standing on even ground, but she could swear the floor has started to shake under her feet. She makes every effort to stop herself from trembling and to keep her voice steady.

"In my sleep?"

Sam used to hit her when she repeated his question to stall for time, but Richard is not Sam.

"Yes. Several times actually," he states, only a twitching muscle in his face giving away that he is not as calm as he appears to be.

For a moment they just stare at each other. Then Norma shrugs, playing it casual.

"He is a family friend, has helped us out many times. Maybe I remembered something in my sleep."

_Or maybe I mumble his name because I can't forget what it felt like when the weight of his body was pressing me down, what it felt like to kiss him._ But she can't possibly say that or can she?

Actually she wishes she could. Tell him everything, that is, like you would tell a good friend, just spit it all out – how messed up the situation is, that she is attracted to another man, that this man is all that is on her mind and that she is wearing herself out living a lie. But she can't, of course. For obvious reasons.

"I heard you crying in the bathroom," Richard says and what started out with an embrace and a kiss on her neck is beginning to feel like an interrogation. Can this get any worse?

"It's nothing." Denial as a reflex. A learned habit to survive. Deny, deny, deny as long as possible, and when it's not possible anymore, find another way out.

Norma can feel the touch of a headache pounding and massages her temples. She has never had headaches, but that has changed recently. They are often so severe that she has to lie down and take a break.

"It's not nothing."

Richard is nice but not stupid. He knows something is going on. The changes in her behavior are too obvious. She has to say something, anything and resorts to the one thing that has always been her excuse all her life.

"I'm just worried about Norman. And I didn't want to bother you with it." She forces a smile.

He studies her for a moment as if he wants to make sure it's the truth. That is new. He has never done that before. Let alone that he has no base line to find out whether she is telling the truth or not since Norma has been telling him a consistent mix of truths and lies ever since they met. Happy childhood, only child. Lie. Two sons, two former marriages. Truth. Tragic, accidental death of her former husband. Lie. And so on and so on. Only regarding Norman it was kind of mandatory to tell the truth, at least to some extent, so that Richard would help her get him into Pineview.

His facial features relax. He seems to have come to a decision. "I'm sorry." Richard takes Norma in his arms, gently stroking her back. "I can't imagine how hard this has to be for you."

It's ironic that his embrace and soothing words have a calming effect on her despite the situation and Norma immediately feels guilty because of it.

After that Richard sits down, eats his breakfast and reads the newspaper while Norma is drinking her coffee like every morning. She is grateful that they remain silent for the most part and that the newspaper shields her from his view so that he can't see her hands are shaking badly every time she picks her cup of coffee up.

* * *

It's almost the same spot where Alex ran into Norma after her marriage. Save that it's Richard this time. They almost bump into each other as Alex is about to leave the stationary shop and Richard is on his way in.

"Whoa there!"

"Sorry!"

They both take a step back and there is a brief, awkward moment when they recognize each other although Alex doesn't understand why Richard would feel awkward meeting him. He has every reason to feel guilty or not at ease considering what happened between Norma and him, but Richard knows him as the sheriff and that's it.

Alex is about to walk on by after he gave Richard a polite nod, but the man follows him outside.

"Sheriff Romero? Could I… Would you mind if I asked you something?"

"Sure. Go ahead." What else is he supposed to say?  _It makes me sick to see your face and know that you are sleeping with the woman I wish was mine?_  At least that would give Richard a real reason to feel uncomfortable. But they are in the heart of the city, he is the sheriff, and this is Norma's husband. Whatever resentment he feels, this is not the time and place to act upon it.

"It's… err… it's personal; so please don't take this the wrong way since your personal life is none of my business, but..." Richard is unmistakably abashed and Alex's warning bells go off. If a husband behaves that way, there is usually only one reason – his wife. Before he can do or say anything to stop him, Richard continues though. "Do you and my wife have a history?"

For a moment Alex's world zooms in on the man and his words, the people around them forgotten as he assumes Richard knows about what happened between him and Norma. Then he recalls the exact words and realizes Richard asked about their history. As in past tense, before he met and married her. Under different circumstances Alex wouldn't have dignified someone asking him that with an answer. He is so surprised, though, that the words just slip out.

"I guess you could say we're friends."

Alex's mind flashes back to various moments they shared. When Norma treated his wound and he got lost in her eyes, when they embraced on the day he moved out of the motel and he didn't want to let go of her but had to, and of course, their heated encounter in his apartment that ended in their first almost kiss. He will never forget her fitful breathing on his skin or how hard it was to release her when she told him not to touch her. But whatever they were to each other back then, it would've been wrong to classify it as friends. They never were just friends. Even before their kiss, both of them had known where this thing between them was leading. They just had both been in denial, Norma way more than he. Save that Norma's husband doesn't know any of that and seems to be eager to believe him.

"Right, friends," Richard repeats as if he is trying to convince himself. "Norma… she said something along the lines of you helping her out now and then."

"Yeah, sure. I'm the sheriff, she's a motel owner, and it's a small town. People help each other." Alex cringes inside regarding his choice of words. As if this was a nice, lovely town. No one ever helped Norma except him and no one would give a shit about him if he wasn't the sheriff. "Why would you ask me that?" Alex inquires, dropping the friendliness. This has gone far enough and beyond. "You should really ask her about it not me."

He wonders what might have happened that caused Richard to address such a rather sensitive topic even though it must have been a spontaneous decision since he couldn't have known they would run into each other today, but he can't ask him without coming across like an intruder himself.

"Yes, of course, you're right. I'm sorry," Richard backpedals although he still doesn't look convinced. Where there's smoke, there's fire and all that. "I just wanted to know what the ties are around here so that I can behave adequately since I'm new in town. And Norma has been very distracted and worried lately because of her son," he stops realizing he is rambling in order to cover his uncomfortableness and has already said too much. "But I held you back long enough. Have a nice day, Sheriff Romero," Richard says goodbye politely but rather abruptly and is gone before Alex can reply.

That was not about finding his place in a new town. That was about jealousy, plain and simple. Alex is thunderstruck. Of course the reason for Norma's distraction could very well be Norman, but the way Richard emphasized  _lately_  tells him that her change in behavior is recent and Norman has been in Pineview for quite a while now. He feels a slight twinge of guilt because the idea that Norma's marriage is coming apart puts him into a good mood.

Alex gets his phone out, hesitates briefly, and then presses the number one on his speed dial like he has done countless times after that fateful night in his car. When Norma doesn't answer the call, he is not exactly surprised; she never does. This time, however, it's different. He has to know what's going on and he will find out.

* * *

It's late, rain drumming against the kitchen window when the landline rings. Norma sighs. She just wanted to get a glass of water and then go to bed. Richard is already asleep so that she was looking forward to a peaceful night without unwanted intimacy. But a phone call that late usually means nothing good and she is afraid something might have happened to Norman.

"Hello?" She frowns. This is no call from Pineview. There is a lot of background noise – people talking, music. It sounds as if someone has called her from a bar. "Yeah, nice try, jackass," she hisses about to hang up when she hears a familiar voice.

"Are you still sleeping with him?"

"Alex? Is that you?"

For a moment there is nothing but his heavy breathing. He slurred the words a bit, must be drunk. Hence the call from a bar. Norma considers hanging up, anyway, but she can't. It was difficult enough not to answer his calls on her cell phone. Now that she already heard his voice, it goes right through her how much she misses him.

"Are you?" he repeats, sounding angry now. "Because you might believe you're doing the right thing, but you're doing no one a favor. Your husband knows something is going on. He's not happy, I'm not happy, and don't try to tell me you are."

For a drunk, his thoughts are astonishingly clear. Alex only doesn't seem to have a filter anymore that prevents him from saying things he wouldn't say to her if he was sober.

"What do you mean Richard knows something is going on?" Norma casts a glance around the corner. The hallway is dark; everything is silent except for the rain and storm outside. She closed the door of their bedroom when she went downstairs and even if she hadn't, the weather will most likely cover her hushed voice.

"He asked me today whether we had a history," Alex explains, but it confuses her only more.

"A history? When did he ask you that?"

"We ran into each other in town. He was quite rattled, your husband, doesn't know or understand shit. Then again, neither do I."

Even if Alex slurs his speech, she is able to understand every word as well as the implied nuances. Contempt. Self-loathing. Deliberately provoking her. Norma remembers the day when she picked him up at a bar after he had visited his father in prison. He was drunk then, too, but calm whereas this is a side of Alex she hasn't experienced before.

"I wanted to come by and ask you what's going on, but his fucking car was parked in front of the house."

She flinches because of his swearing, the undisguised jealousy and hatred, only now realizing there is a connection between the fact that Richard cancelled his business trip he had been supposed to go on today and the fact that Alex has gotten dead drunk. Richard's business trip would have required an overnight stay. He told her he had postponed it since he didn't feel well. Norma thought nothing of it, even men were allowed to be sick once in a while, when the truth was he simply hadn't wanted to leave her alone.

The idea that Alex could have come by all the same, could have caused a scene doesn't scare or annoy Norma as much as it excites her. What is wrong with her? If she wants to do the right thing, she can't think things like that, let alone feel. She straightens herself in an effort to sort her thoughts.

"What did you tell him?"

He sighs irritated. "That we're friends."

It doesn't make sense. If Alex told him that, then why would Richard feel the need to not leave her alone?

Alex's laugh is a hollow sound that makes her shudder. "He didn't buy it, Norma. I don't know what you've done or told him, but he didn't buy it."

Her thoughts are racing. She had believed she had averted Richard's suspicion this morning, that everything was fine. But Richard had to run into Alex on this of all days afterwards. Bad timing. Story of her life.

Norma feels another headache approaching.

"We should talk when you're sober," she states, aware that once she has hung up she will continue to ignore his calls.

"Don't hang up, Norma!" Alex is the sheriff; he never pleads with anyone except her, his brokenness invading every fiber of her body. "Let me come over."

He is not thinking rationally, and yet, the unashamed desire in his voice makes her heartbeat speed up. What if…?

"Alex… How am I supposed to explain that to…."

"Is he asleep?"

She hesitates. "Yes."

"Then come down to the motel. Meet me there. You have few guests at that time of the year, if any. There must be a room available." He continues talking when she remains silent. Frantically, as if he can't hold the words back one second longer. "I have to see you. It drives me crazy that you're with him, that he's the one touching you, kissing you." Alex is talking himself into a fury. "So your husband's a nice guy, but I don't think you want nice, Norma. You liked it when I kissed you hard and I bet you'd like it if I f..." He stops as if someone cut off his words with a pair of scissors, despite the drunken haze suddenly becoming aware that he shouldn't say that to her. "It would be different with me, with us," he settles for instead and she can hear the desperate longing in his voice. "You know that. It's all I can think about."

Yes, she knows. And even if he stopped, Norma is aware of what he was going to say.  _You'd like it if I fucked you hard._  She should be appalled, but she isn't. He's right. Why blame him for speaking the truth just because it's harsh? Let alone that a sober Alex Romero would never talk to her like that. Not in a million years. Alcohol has unleashed his anger and frustration. Add his desire to the mix and it creates a dangerous composition.  _He_  is dangerous. And she loves it.

For a moment Norma considers doing it, her heart beating fast, his words and the anticipation of seeing Alex again causing a wave of arousal she is feeling straight between her legs. It's cold and she is only wearing her nightwear and a robe, but her body is on fire. She has the same reaction to his voice and words that she had to his touch when they were in his car, putting her palm against her chest to calm herself. Her fingers move of their own accord, though, lightly scratching her skin. Norma closes her eyes, imagining it was Alex touching her there, before she jolts herself out of her reverie and pulls her hand away as if she burned herself. She blushes albeit no one can see her. She wants it, him, there is no need to deny that, but… Norma takes a deep breath and closes her eyes, leaning against the doorframe, an overwhelming sadness weighing her down.

"I can't. You know I can't," she whispers.

There is a long pause. If it wasn't for the noise in the background, she would have thought he had hung up. Then. "Is this just a game for you?"

A sob is building in the back of her throat. How can he believe that? "No, it's not."

Another pause, even longer this time. "I'm going to kill him."

The statement is so causal, devoid of any emotion even though there have to be plenty of them underneath the surface that Norma without a doubt believes Alex is capable of doing it.

"What? Alex, stop! You're scaring me."

"Yeah… yeah… I scare myself, too," he sounds tired as if her refusal to meet him and his threat have used the rest of his energy up.

After that he falls silent again.

"Alex? Are you ok?"

All she can hear is his heavy breathing. She can't meet him, but Norma needs him to know that this is difficult for her, too.

"He told me I say your name in my sleep," she confesses in a whisper. "I can't stop thinking of you and what happened between us. Alex, you have to believe me. This is not a game for me, but I don't know what to do."

"Huh?" She is not sure he even heard her, let alone understood what she said. "It's been… a long day. I think I should…"

He is clearly drifting into sleep or unconsciousness. Norma hopes the bartender knows how to get him home. Then again, this is for sure not the first time Alex has gotten drunk there.

"It's just," he mumbles when she thinks he has fallen asleep already, his voice almost inaudible. "It's just that I love you."

Then the line goes dead.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this chapter broke my heart a little for Norma. But the idea that this is what she would think and how she would react wouldn't let go and so I had to write it.
> 
> And I have a serious obsession with Norma's coats. Well, her wardrobe in general, but I looove her coats and want all of them, like NOW.

Alex Romero has had a shitty day. Make that a shitty week.

His hangover after he got dead drunk is the worst he has ever had, lasting for days and reminding him that he is not getting any younger. He remembers calling Norma, trying to talk her into coming down to the motel and saying highly inappropriate things to her in his embarrassingly horny attempt to convince her to sleep with him. Did anything else occur? He can't remember. Everything that happened after she had refused his brazen advances is a blur.

Shame makes him retreat into his stoic shell the moment he wakes up with a blinding headache. Drunk calls late at night are not what he wants Norma to associate him with. He can do better than that. At least when he's not half crazed with jealousy. So the plan is to let some time pass by and then wait for the right moment to clear things up in order to move on.

He is surprised when it's her who calls him two days later.

"Hi Alex," she sounds wary but affectionate, happy to hear his voice.

"Norma…," he doesn't know what to say; she hasn't called him anymore ever since she got married. Let alone that he is not prepared to have this talk with her, has been hoping for a little more time so that his frail ego can lick its wounds.

"I um… I just wanted to check on you." There is a slight pause before she gives a nervous laugh and he wonders what might have caused her insecurity. Considering his behavior and words, shouldn't it be the other way round?

"Check on me? I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" Alex didn't mean to be so curt with her, but the shameful memory of his drunk call feels like a weakness he wants to forget as fast as possible. Norma responds to alpha males. Unfazed and in control, that's how he wants her to perceive him. "Listen, um, Norma. I'm sorry I called you when I was drunk and I'm sorry about my choice of words. That was unfortunate." He clears his throat, self-consciousness tickling his vocal cords. His apology should have done the trick, but for some reason she remains eerily silent at the other end of the line. "Norma?"

"Yeah, I'm here, I'm here," her voice constrained all of a sudden, distant, as if she expected something else and has a hard time unraveling her thoughts. "I just… I'm glad you're ok. Goodbye, Alex," she practically stumbles on her words.

She hangs up, leaving him dumbfounded and wondering what happened.

Alex calls Norma the next day to find out, but they are back to their old routine. She doesn't answer. Then work distracts him so that he is forced to push his thoughts about her to the back of his mind. He has to make a living and make sure the town is safe after all. But it's always there, this nagging feeling that something is wrong between them, something more than the well-known, complicated situation.

* * *

It's approximately one week after his inebriated lapse that Alex eventually finds the time to head over to the bar and pay his bill. He never brings money with him when he intends to get drunk. Why lose his wallet in a drunken haze as it happened once when you know the owner of the bar personally and can pay your expenses later?

It's four o'clock in the afternoon, the usual suspects brooding over their beer when he enters and stops dead in his tracks. Norma is sitting at the end of the bar, a shooter in front of her, judging by the color tequila or vodka. The glass is full, but Alex has no way of telling whether it is her first. Norma is sitting perfectly still in front of it, staring at the liquor as if it was able to reveal all the mysteries of the world to her. She hasn't even taken off her burgundy coat that is too flimsy for the cold weather.

"Norma?"

She flinches as he approaches her, was so lost in thought that she didn't notice him.

"Hey." A tense smile, her posture rigid. Not good. The first blow comes as quick as expected. "Did you already kill my husband? Put him in a dumpster?"

"What?" That is a bit over the top, even by her standards.

Norma studies him. "When you called me you threatened to kill my husband," she clarifies.

She is in a weird mood, belligerent. Neither slurring nor swaying though. Not drunk, Alex decides. At least not yet. He stares at her, uncertain what to make of the situation, as she raises her glass to him and takes a sip.

"You really don't remember," Norma states, a wry smile not reaching her eyes as if she just found out something reprehensible about him she has been suspecting all along.

"No, I don't," Alex confirms, an uneasy feeling creeping up on him. How could he forget something like that? And is there anything else he doesn't remember? For the moment there are more pressing matters though.

"What happened? Why are you here?" He carefully steps closer as if she was a dangerous species about to attack. In a way, that's exactly what she is.

She looks at him and the vulnerability in her eyes is like a kick in the gut. Something happened. Something bad. Norma sniffles, pondering on whether to tell him or not. Only now Alex notices her red-rimmed eyes in the dim light. Even though the make-up is fresh, it's obvious that she cried earlier.

"Richard and I split up," she finally says, her voice flat.

"Why?" It would be hypocritical to pretend he isn't happy about it even though Alex didn't expect it, not that soon anyway. There are a million thoughts on his mind right now, and given their situation, it's probably a stupid thing to ask. However considering Norma was adamant to do the right thing and didn't want to leave her husband when he explicitly asked her to do so, it seems to be the obvious question.

"Why…," Norma mumbles to herself, pushing the glass in front of her to and fro. Then she screws up her face as if this was a sick joke at her expense. "Let's just say this was my third marriage and I'll never be good at it."

"What about insurance? About Pineview?" The reasons she married that guy in the first place. Alex can take care of that, too, but what if there are immediate consequences due to their separation? It's an instinctual reflex that makes him ask, the desire to guarantee her well-being and safety implemented in his genes by now, extending to her son as well because only if he is doing well, then Norma is.

Her eyes darken as she remembers what happened earlier that day.

" _I don't think this will work anymore," she said._

_It had been a dreadful morning. Richard had wanted sex. Despite her efforts to comply, she had finally begged him to stop, feeling ashamed and worthless. It was clear that it was over. They both had been trying to deny it, but something in the air had shifted between them for good. After only a few weeks, their whirlwind marriage had given way to her feelings for another man. They both knew it._

_Richard looked at her for a long time and then left the room to come back with a huge bag, putting it on the table._

" _Here, take it."_

" _What is this?" Norma eyed it suspiciously._

" _I used to save money for… I don't know, for a special occasion. But as I got older, I realized this special occasion might never come. So, take it. You need it for your son. It will cover his expenses at Pineview for the next months even if we're not married anymore until you have figured something out. I'm sure you will."_

_She stared at him. "You have money lying around just like that?"_

_He hesitated. "No. I withdrew it from the bank last week."_

_It took her a moment to understand that he had known that moment was coming, had been waiting for it actually. And yet, instead of yelling at her or blaming her, he was handing a parting gift to her._

" _I can't take your money," Norma whispered._

" _It's not all my money," Richard assured her. "I have enough savings to make a good living and my job is going well whereas your motel is not." His eyes tenderly dwelled on her face. "In good times and in bad, Norma. We might not have known each other for long, but I meant it."_

_She should have said no, but this was about Norman. There was no way she could refuse his generous offer._

" _Thank you."_

_She was crying and he took her in his arms to hold her for one last time, softly kissing her forehead._

" _I'm going to pack my things now. I love you, Norma. I truly wanted us to work."_

_He had told her several times that he loves her and sometimes she had said it back. How could she not? She had needed him to marry her. But the words had always left a bitter taste in her mouth as if she had been poisoning herself. Just another lie. Just another thing she had messed up._

_Norma didn't wait until Richard was done packing, the idea of an empty house, its echoes confronting her with another of her failures, unbearable. That's why she came to the bar._

"Norma?" Alex's voice reminds her of his question.

"Richard left me enough money to make sure Norman's stay at Pineview is covered for the next months." She shrugs and makes a dismissive gesture as if it was nothing but keeps darting glances at him to catch his reaction.

"So he left you and you kept his money?" That sounded wrong, like an implied judgement of her actions. Alex is just surprised to put it mildly. Count on Norma to pull something like that off.

His remark seems to trigger something, the reaction she has been waiting for. Alex is standing next to her, slightly towering over her even though she is sitting on a bar stool. Norma turns her body towards him so that she is facing him directly. She might as well have declared war on him.

"First of all, he didn't leave me. We amicably agreed that it would be the best to separate." It seems to be important to her that Richard comes off as the good guy in this scenario. Alex doesn't like how protective she is of him. "And second of all…" Her expression hardens and Alex can tell he will like what she will say next still less. "Why shouldn't I get something out of it? Let's face it, I sold myself. The least I could do is keep the money since I for sure kept my side of the bargain," Norma practically spits the words out, her self-loathing obvious. She holds his gaze, jutting her chin forward defiantly.

"Don't talk about yourself like that," Alex trounces her. "You did what you had to do for your son and..."

"Oh, I very well know what I am and what I'm not, especially to the people around me," Norma interrupts him, sliding down from the bar stool, her body brushing against his in the process. "And who are you to judge me? You don't even remember half of what you said to me when you called me."

Alex's hand twitches to support her or touch her or pull her closer towards him, he doesn't know which one. Wearing her knee-high boots, Norma is almost as tall as he is, her light blue eyes a constant reminder how painfully beautiful she is. Alex wishes he could not only see her beauty but also decipher everything within her – every thought, every feeling – so that he would only do and say the right things.

"Norma, I'm sorry for..."

"Sorry for what? For wanting to kill my husband? It's not necessary anymore; we're separated. For wanting to fuck me? That's not exactly news, to neither of us or is it? Or for telling me you love me?"

Alex's mind goes blank. He said that to her? He must have. Norma is a master of manipulation and lies, but right now the words keep flowing out of her of their own accord. Let alone that all the anger she exudes can't hide the hurt in her eyes. Yes, he said that but was too drunk to remember. Shit!

"Yeah," she hisses. "That's a big one, isn't it? Alex Romero making drunk love confessions when you never had any intention to say that to me when you were sober."

All her life, Norma has been looking for love, desperately hoping to find it. It feels as if the promise of love is constantly dangling in front of her, but whenever she believes she has found it, someone comes and takes it away. Like this time. She thought Alex was different. It felt different when she was with him; he genuinely seemed to care about her. And then he told her that he loved her and it made her giddy with excitement; she couldn't sleep all night, waiting for him to call her the next day, but he didn't. And when she eventually gave in and called him, she realized he didn't even remember. It was a déjà vu. Her first two husbands always told her they loved her when they were drunk, but all they really wanted was sex. They never meant it. So why would he?

"I get it, Alex," she says, calmer now, defeated. "You wanted sex, you've never had me, I was a challenge."

Her words make him dizzy. Alex has trouble processing what she revealed to him. He is not able to keep up with her tirade.

"Norma, stop!" That's all he wants right now. He needs her to stop so that he can think, find out what is the right thing to do.

Astonishingly enough she remains silent for a moment, but her body is a bundle of vibrant energy. Alex feels her lean into him, her hands sneaking underneath his jacket.

"We could go right now," she whispers in his ear, her breath sending shivers down his spine. "To the motel or to the house, whatever you want. I bet Richard is no longer there."

The prospect is alluring but her behavior conflicting to say the least. Under different circumstances Alex would have given everything to hear her say that to him. But this is wrong. Despite her seductive words and the heat of her body, there is an indifference beneath that makes him shudder. It's his fault. He has to make this right.

Alex encompasses Norma's face with his hands. She looks so fragile, tender skin and bones under his callous hands. Her eyes, however, are blue steel. Unwavering strength in a world that has never had an ounce of kindness for her.

"Norma, listen to me..."

But she simply grabs the back of his neck, reminding him of the night in his car when he did the exact same thing, pulling him closer and pushing her tongue in his mouth. She tastes of liquor, desire and desperation. A fatal mix.

By now they are attracting attention. Some of the drunk have started to cheer them on.

_Kiss her._

_Get a room._

_Yeah man, take her right here. She wants it._

"We shouldn't do this," Alex mumbles not very convincingly.

"Yes, we should," Norma breathes while never interrupting their kiss.

She wraps one of her legs around one of his and he has to steady himself with one hand against the bar so that they don't lose balance. The drunk are clapping. She is putting on a show, rubbing herself against him. It has the desired effect. Thinking is becoming increasingly difficult.

"What are you...?"

Her lips assault his neck and Alex's hands drop to Norma's backside, grabbing it through the fabric of her coat.

"...trying to prove?"

His touch earns him a low hum in her throat. It's the sexiest sound he has ever heard in his entire life. He needs more of that. To hell with good intentions and unwanted spectators. But just when Alex is about to take off her coat, she freezes, her mood suddenly changing. There are tears in her eyes.

"I just want to get it over with," Norma says, looking like a little girl. Scared, lonely. Gone is the seductress.

"Want to get what over with?"

"This. Us." Her timid voice is a violent contrast to her earlier behavior.

"What are you talking about? Why?"

Norma's lower lip trembles; she screws up her face, about to cry. "Because I know you will leave."

Her childhood, her marriages – nothing but a concatenation of violence and abuse, the hope for a better life keeping Norma on the run when it would never come. She knows this now, has accepted it.  _The woman that has more clothes than a Park Avenue whore_ , her ex-husband accused her.  _You're just a lying bitch_ , Zack Shelby yelled at her. And even if it was long ago, there was a time when Dylan used to save her number in his cell simply under  _the whore_. A pattern. Throw dirt at someone long enough and some of it will stick. This is how men see her. This is what she is. She was so stupid to assume Alex could actually love her. No matter how much she wants this, they won't last.

Alex is taken aback. "What kind of bullshit is this? Why would I leave?"

She holds his gaze. "Because I'm toxic. I ruin everything."

Norma grabs the glass and downs the rest of her drink in one gulp. Then she kisses him another time before she walks out.

Alex considers stopping her either with his words or his physical dominance, but this is Norma. She would fight him like a caged animal trying to escape.

"Looks as if you fucked that up, buddy," one of the drunk bawls.

He tastes the liquor on his lips and something else that's intrinsically her.

"Mind your own frigging business," Alex intimidates the guy.

This is not over yet.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sad this story is coming to an end, like really sad (imagine me saying that in Norma's voice like she did in the scene where she is talking about the death of her mother in S3). This story was very emotional for me to write and I loved every minute of it. So here's the big finish. XD

It's late when there's a knock at Alex Romero's door. It's her. He doesn't have to check to feel certain. It was the engine of her car pulling up, her steps approaching, and this is her impatient knock. On some days he wonders if there's anything he doesn't know about her.

Alex considered following Norma after she had left the bar but decided against it. She was agitated and hurt because she believed his words had been a lie.  _I love you._  He still doesn't remember saying it to her when he was drunk. However learning that he did wasn't as big a surprise as Norma probably thought it was. It had been a matter of time, anyway. You can hide the truth only for so long. If Norma hadn't such a problematic history with men, she would have known for quite a while now that he has fallen for her. It pained Alex to experience her low self-esteem first hand. They have a long way to go. That's why he has been hoping that it would be her who would take the first step by coming to him. Whatever happens next has to happen on her terms.

When he opens the door, Norma walks past him right into his living room, a paragon of anxiety and blonde locks, a breeze of cold winter air following her inside. She is still wearing that flimsy burgundy coat and her knee-high boots, her clothes arousing the memory of how she pressed herself against him at the bar.

"Why don't you come in?" Alex jokes in an attempt to leaven the mood, but she doesn't even seem to hear him, pacing back and forth until she eventually stops to look at him.

"I couldn't..." She wrings her hands. "With Dylan and Norman gone and now Richard, too." Alex flinches when she mentions her husband's name, reminding him that it was another man's privilege to live with her. Well, ex-husband by now; the awareness is comforting. "The house is so empty. I couldn't stay there and I didn't know where else to go."

This is what she does. When she has nowhere to go, no one to turn to she comes running to him. He is her last resort when he wants to be her first choice.

"Why don't you sit down? Let me take your coat."

Norma looks uncertain, fidgeting around with its belt. "I don't know. It's late. I really don't want to..."

"Norma… your coat."

She sighs and lets the fabric slide off her shoulders eventually so that Alex can take it. Even though the coat as well as the rest of her clothing are way too flimsy for this time of the year, he can feel the heat her body radiates. It's as if she's burning up inside. Norma is wearing a dress he has never seen before. It's a wrap dress with a rather modern cut, the floral pattern making it her unique style. It hugs her curves at the right places, his eyes drawn to the knot holding it together. One pull and it would slide open.

As Alex hangs up her coat, Norma still doesn't make a move to sit down and when he steps closer, she looks at him cautiously. He realizes she expects him to make another pass at her. As if that was the price to let her stay.

He takes hold of her under the chin, not touching her otherwise. "Everything will be ok, Norma. You did the right thing."

She looks as if she is going to cry. "How can what I did possibly be the right thing?" she breathes.

"Because unconventional situations require unconventional measures. And your life is anything but ordinary."

That earns him a timid smile. "Yeah, maybe."

Something changes in the air between them, molecules that were raised before, waiting for a confrontation, settling down to see what would happen next.

Norma leans forward, her lips brushing his, her breathing erratic even though they are not doing anything yet. It's their closeness, the knowledge that this time there will be nothing and no one stopping them from going through with what they are about to do.

"I don't think we should do this," Alex tries to stop her half-heartedly like he did at the bar. She is so vulnerable right now. He wants her, more than anything, but he doesn't want Norma to do something she might regret later.

Her fingers trace the outline of his jaw, her breaths caress his face. He can feel her heartbeat racing, just like his.

"I want to be close to you," she whispers. "But I'm afraid you'll hurt me."

Alex knows she is not talking about physical hurt.

"I would never do that."

Norma screws up her face as if she is going to cry, leaning back, away from him, and for a moment, he thinks this is it, that she is leaving. But then she looks into his eyes and it's clear that she has come to a decision.

_I trust you. I totally trust you._  Deep down she knows he would never intentionally hurt her, that his love confession wasn't a pretense to score with her. Maybe it wasn't the alleged lie that threw her off balance in the first place, maybe it was the awareness that it had been the truth all along.

When Norma kisses him, it feels as if everything is happening in slow motion. Her soft lips pressing against his, her fingertips touching his face, her tongue probing his mouth. They kissed before, but this is even better. Their emotions are stripped-down to the here and now, to the essence of them, every breath, every touch an unspoken promise until they eventually can't hold back any longer and the kiss turns into something else. An all-consuming passion.

Alex wraps his arms around Norma, walking them backwards until she is pressed against the doorframe, a déjà vu of the day when they fought and he pressed her against it with similar force but for different reasons. He fumbles around with the tie belt of her dress to no avail, sensing Norma twist her mouth while they are kissing, the ghost of a smile playing around her lips. Her hands replace his, undoing the knot easily, and then the fabric of her dress slides open to reveal matching underwear. Blue, lace-trimmed silk.

For a moment Alex just stands there, devouring her with his eyes.

"You are beautiful," he murmurs, his words making her blush. Whether out of modesty or self-consciousness he can't tell although it's hard to believe that a woman like Norma is actually insecure regarding her looks.

For some reason Alex is reminded of a school excursion to a museum where the teacher constantly warned them to not touch the art. Oh, he will touch this piece of art, over and over. His fingers brush her collarbone and then slide down to her breasts, cupping and kneading them. They are a perfect match for the size of his hands. His touch becomes agitated when his fingers get entangled in the lace of her bra, slipping underneath the soft fabric unintentionally, something he has been planning to save for later. Norma doesn't seem to mind though. She sighs and lets her head fall back against the door frame. A hint of a smile flickers across her face, giving away that she knows exactly what effect she has on him. Then his hands follow their path downwards, admiring her slender waist before they come to rest on her hips, his fingers digging into smooth flesh as she makes this low hum in her throat again he has heard and come to love at the bar for the first time.

Alex kisses Norma's neck, his hands never leaving her body, her sensual whimper his new favorite sound. Just when he is looking for a sign as to his pace – is this too fast? too slow? – she spreads her legs a little to give him better access. The tip of her tongue sneaks out, licking her lips in anticipation right before his hand slips into her panties, meeting wet heat.

Norma arches her back violently, the tender, yet relentless push and pull of his fingers between her legs almost too much. She is openly moaning now. Alex has never met a woman who exudes sensuality like Norma. She just has this aura even doing ordinary things or wearing demure clothes. Seeing her like this is like watching a fantasy unfold and even more. He can't get enough, relishing the opportunity to study her as his fingers set a steady rhythm that he aligns with the movements of her hips. Her moans are getting louder. Norma's eyes are closed, a concentrated frown appears on her face as she bites her lip. So that's what she looks like shortly before she comes. But suddenly her hand grabs his wrist to stop him.

"Not like that," she pants, looking around and focusing on his favorite armchair.

She makes a face Alex interprets as  _that will do_  before she gently shoves him towards it, indicating that she wants him to sit down there but not until she has gotten rid of their clothing as far as required. The fact that she only takes off her panties and is still wearing her bra and her dress that is loosely hanging open as well as her knee-high boots is a sight as sexy as Alex would never have dared to imagine.

He half sits down, she half presses him down, positioning herself above him before she lowers herself on him agonizingly slow.

"God, Norma..." It takes all the willpower he has to let her do this at her pace and not push himself inside her remorselessly.

"Shhh..." She puts a finger on his lips, and if it's meant to calm him, it's not working at all because she replaces her finger with her tongue, licking his lips several times before she deepens their kiss.

She's everywhere. Her soft skin under his hands, her perfume in his nostrils, her moans filling him up until Alex can't stand their slow dance any longer, wrapping one arm around her hips and the other around her shoulder for leverage and increases the speed. He is prepared to stop in case Norma should show any indication that she doesn't like this, but she lets him take over, alternating between hugging him close and leaning back, her weight resting in his arms.

He watches her, the unmistakeable pleasure on her face. This is it. She is giving herself to him. No holding back anymore. Their hips collide in a rhythm that is getting more and more erratic; they both will have bruises tomorrow. Then she holds her breath, grabs his face and opens her eyes to look at him.

Despite the fully dilated pupils, Norma's eyes are so light as if they were translucent, a window leading into another world. They have stopped moving; Alex feels the one or other ripple flooding through her. Then she pushes herself up on trembling thighs and down another time, met by his upward movement and collapses on him with a stifled cry. As much as he would like to prolong this, he stands no chance when he feels her tightening around him, only realizing afterwards that it was him who uttered that guttural sound of relief. She is his. Finally.

* * *

Alex doesn't tell Norma he loves her, not that night. He does it the next night after they made love in her bedroom. She takes a deep breath when she hears the words but doesn't say it back, only intertwines their fingers and holds his hand this way until they fall asleep. Alex tells her every day after that. At breakfast before he leaves for work, after dinner when they're getting ready for bed, in between when he calls her just because he wants to hear her voice. He notices the changes in her reaction from uncertainty over happiness to pure glee. And then, one day, she says it back.

* * *

It's been a perfect Sunday morning so far. Slow love making, Alex is downstairs to prepare breakfast so that they can eat it in bed, and the sun is shining. Something that practically never happens in White Pine Bay.

He comes in, carefully balancing the tray so that the coffee won't spill over. It tastes delicious and even from a distance Norma can see that Alex put exactly the right amount of marmalade on her toast, just as she likes it. He also put flowers on the tray.

"Oh, Alex, that's so sweet," Norma gushes. "You're spoiling me."

He puts the tray down on the bed and then steps back to look at her.

"Come join me." She pats on the bed next to her.

But Alex keeps looking at her, his expression and posture tense.

"Alex? What's up?"

Then she sees it. A ring. Carefully placed on the tray next to the flowers.

"Alex?"

"I've been thinking," he says casually as if he was talking about the weather, but his eyes never leave her face. "I have insurance. You need insurance. So maybe I could marry you."

For a moment there is no sound save for the ticking of the clock. Then Norma reaches out and takes the ring with shaking hands, turning it around to admire its beauty, the brilliant sparkling in the sunlight. Richard signed the divorce papers yesterday. She told Alex as soon as she knew and he clearly doesn't intend to waste any time.

"And aside from that..." His voice is closer now; she didn't notice him approach the bed through the blur of tears. Tears of joy. Alex grabs Norma's hand that holds the ring, taking the ring from her to put it on her finger. It fits perfectly. "I need someone to take care of my mother's ring for the rest of my life."

A sob escapes Norma's throat. Alex puts the tray down on the floor last minute. Otherwise she would have spilled the coffee all over the bed when she threw herself in his arms.

"Is that a yes?" he asks, holding her.

Norma is crying and laughing at the same time. Then she sniffles and shrugs.

"Well, it's not like I'm doing anything else."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...I hope the ending was not too sappy, but the closer the premiere of S5 gets, the more I feel the need to put Alex and Norma in a romantic bubble and protect them. So in this version they live happily ever after and nothing bad will happen to them. EVER.


End file.
